Hear ye, hear ye! Welcome to our humble eBay store, fair buyer! I, a poor Peddler, art pleased to make thine acquaintance!
Behold! the item description thou requirest:
~ Verily, this garment is in GOOD CONDITION!
~ NO holes, stains, or tears were foundeth during visual inspection.
~ Take heed to WASH thy new item when thou receiveth it!
~ Please peruse the images and inquire of any queries before thou proceedest to make a purchase. I extend my gratitude for thy perusal.
~ I beseech thee to contact me ere thou leavest a negative or neutral feedback, that we may resolve any issue that may arise.
~We want thee to know that returns are most welcome here.
~If thou findest anything amiss with thy purchase, fear not, for thou shalt receive thy money back.
~And lo, we implore thee to return to our store in the future, for we shall have more wares to list anon.
Fare thee well!