A Sunday Times Bestseller. The extraordinary memoir of ex-Manchester City player Paul Lake.Paul Lake was Manchester born, a City fan from birth. His footballing talent was spotted at a young age and, in 1983, he signed coveted schoolboy forms for City. Only a short time later he was handed the team captaincy.An international career soon beckoned and, after turning out for the England under-21 and B teams, he received a call-up to the England training camp for Italia '90. Earmarked as an England captain in the making, Paul became a target for top clubs like Manchester United, Arsenal, Spurs and Liverpool, but he always stayed loyal to his beloved club, deeming Maine Road the spiritual home at which his destiny lay.But then, in September 1990, disaster struck. Paul ruptured his cruciate ligament; sustaining the worst possible injury that a footballer can suffer. And so began his nightmare.Neglected, ignored and misunderstood by his club after a succession of failed operations, Paul's career began to fall apart. Watching from the sidelines as similarly injured players regained their fitness, he spiralled into a prolonged bout of severe depression. With an enforced retirement from the game he adored, the death of his father and the collapse of his marriage, Paul was left a broken man.Set against a turning point in English football, I'm Not Really Here is the powerful story of love and loss and the cruel, irreparable damage of injury; of determination, spirit and resilience and of unfulfilled potential and broken dreams.

Paul Lake was born in Manchester in October 1968. He signed schoolboy forms for Manchester City FC in 1983, and made his senior debut against Wimbledon four years later. Capped several times at England under-21 level, he was selected for Bobby Robson's Italia '90 training squad. Later that year, and shortly after being handed the City captaincy, Paul suffered a serious knee injury. In 1995, following countless operations and a long spell of rehabilitation, he was forced to retire from the game. He went on to qualify as a sports physiotherapist, working for a number of football clubs in the north west. In March 2010 he was appointed Ambassador for Manchester City in the Community.